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T. Sher Singh's avatar

A few thoughts in response to an interesting piece:

1 First and foremost, we should have spent, or should continue to spend, our resources on our children to ensure that they become self-sufficient and never need handouts later in life. The operative word here is 'need'.

2 We should indeed, as we are aging, hoard reasonably sufficient resources to cover our estimated needs in the years we reasonably expect to live. We should rely on our common sense, not on the investment industry for advice on this ... because in their own best interests, no number of millions is enough.

3 We should retain control of this hoard and not surrender that control until and unless we have to ... and then, and only then, hand over the strings to one we can truly depend on. In my Punjabi tradition, "one who is well fed" is highly recommended.

4 If we've brought up our children well, they'll rise to the occasion if we find ourselves in an unexpected emergency.

5 Keeping all of the above in mind, do get help for some good estate planning.

Liz Thompson's avatar

I'm 78, still mobile more or less, mentally alive, read a lot, and have NHS meds for arthritis (anticipated, both sides of family), and other minor problems (migraine mainly). Occasionally I think of how much time left, but not in terms of anxiety. My daughter lives with me, calls me to order when necessary, and conducts her own life as she wishes. I'm aware that this could be better, however, and so is she. But we don't discuss it as it leads to stress on both sides, although she has not been inclined to live separately from me.

Income has always been sufficient, but more recently the sale of our previous house brought a reasonable lump sum now in a Building Society account. Regular income covers the cost of current private house rent etc, and we have not drawn on the savings. Your comments on money kept untouched in case of need struck home, although it is not a great amount. We have had idle conversations over buying a small house, nearer the countryside, but not seriously. One thing I have always done is regular donations to charities and causes that deserve help, my parents having taken a similar approach when I was growing up. Both I and my daughter volunteer at community centres, assisting or taking part in group activities. My son and his family have similar involvements where they live, including help with disability matters. A lot of local people work in the centres helping, bringing food in, cooking, and giving advice. Trained nurses and advisors come, there are books given that people can borrow, writing and poetry groups, children's activities, walking groups with leaders, and council workers who help with housing problems and questions. I know that I am a lot better off than many of my colleagues there, and we try to take surplus books, clothes, and household things there for both the centre and people who need them. One thing I did anticipate, I am paying for my funeral in advance! Seemed like a sensible move at least, and if I live to 90, I stop paying.......

Thank you for your interesting article, I found it very true, having read a lot of accounts in my lifetime so far! I shall endeavour to make sure I do not keep more than I got in the first place from the house sale.

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